


LET GO.

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21896545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When she felt tears running down her cheek, she would be reminded of when he wiped them away. He told her it'll be okay, he'd loved her and he'd always be there for her.Where was he now?
Relationships: Denmark/Mongolia (Hetalia)
Kudos: 3





	LET GO.

**Author's Note:**

> the product of 3am. stay safe and read the tags.

When the wind was ever so slight, this little meadow used to be their special place. 

She sat quietly with Denmark, who had his head on her lap. He was humming a song, perhaps the one he loved from many centuries ago. Maybe it was the one his mother sang to him when he and his brothers were just little children. Mongolia played with his hair, twirling it around and pausing occasionally to have a drink or turn a page. 

He sometimes sat beside her, looking into her book, making silly comments and skits, never failing to make her laugh. He always did when he tried, and she always loved it. She'd kiss his cheek and tell him how funny he is. He loved when she did that, but he loved her, most importantly. 

She sometimes held his hand, commenting on how soft his skin is, and making up excuses to be closer. She loved being close to him, no doubt. He'd hug her and tell her how she never needed excuses, and how he'd always love her. She did too, she told him too, but  _ god  _ does she wish she'd done more often. 

Especially when she laid a flower where he would sleep forever. Where his eyes closed and breathing stopped, where he smiled for the last time, shed tears for the last time. Wasn't it enough to lose her family, but now her lover?

Mongolia said through the tears, that he'll be okay, he's a nation, he'll be back by tomorrow. She hoped and hoped and wished she was right, but when he coughed out blood and said goodbye, she knew but she wanted to have hope, why couldn't he have been overreacting or playing another joke this time?

Drowning in her tears and drinks, it felt so bad to lose something again. So clumsy, so reckless, her brother teased. She sometimes wished he was here to tease her again. 

Don't drink too much, her sister would advise, but she couldn't come to tell her. She didn't have to know, there's no way she could. 

It was like falling in deep water, but tasting of alcohol. Never finding a way to swim, to take a breath, not a moment of peace as you struggle to survive. 

For nations who couldn't swim, this(literally) is a traumatic experience. You can't die, so you choke and struggle to get back to the surface, to take a sweet breath and going back to living happily. But sometimes, you get stuck for more than a few hours. 

Drenched in guilt and addictions, cut with alcohol bottles and drawn knives, feeling numb was overwhelming. You want to feel, you want to love, maybe even feeling pain for a moment would be a relief.

When she felt tears running down her cheek, she would be reminded of when he wiped them away. He told her it'll be okay, he'd loved her and he'd always be there for her. 

Where was he now?

It felt so bad to think about him like that, after all, he was gone and it was her fault. 

Hair falls to the floor, scissors drop and then some blood. 

If hair was like her arm, how much blood would there be?

If scissors were razors, how many would she have bought?

If alcohol was like blood, how much would she have spilled? 

The razor lies on the ground, so pathetic and useless. Mongolia takes a look at it and decides she's the same. After all, lying on the floor, just bleeding out isn't the most productive thing. 

Get over it. 

But he meant so much to her that she would go to hell and back just to see him one more time. 

Their special place became unbearable, nails dug into the dirt when she wanted it to go away. Birds were singing as if mocking her, the sun was shining as if disrespecting him, it was the day he smiled for the last time. 

Another flower on the dirt, reading the gravestone as she always did. His name was there, his birthdate, death date and everything, he was lying right beneath the dirt, in a casket, with the ghost of a smile. His skin is gone but she knows he'll be smiling. His flesh is gone but she knows he's always warm. 

She wants to see him again, but the price to pay is to destroy her own country and watch it fall. Only then her heart would stop and she would find him. But seeing home crumble to dust and the breeze you grew up with turn into smoke was a horrendous thought, she may have considered it but… he promised to protect her country and it'd all be in vain if it falls on purpose. 

Learn to let go. 

Maybe she will. 

Maybe, one day, that day will come. 

When she holds a flower and a book, sitting next to the grave and reading out loud to him. When she's learnt again; how to smile through the pain and let go. Her father, brother, sister and all the other siblings, they've all taught her how to let go, for they've whispered that everything comes back in the end. 

For she will know, that one day, he will be waiting there, smiling nervously like he was when he confessed to her. Dressed to impress like he was when she came for their first date. Ready to hug her, kiss her and comfort her, just as he always promised to, and always fulfilled. 

For she will know, he will always come back to her and make the scars stop hurting, and stop her making them. He cares so much he'd been waiting for so long, just to welcome her again. 

Their kisses were usually short but always contained so much meaning. It would be nice, when the time comes for her to tell him she loves her, over and over till it's enough, for she regrets that she still hasn't enough times. 


End file.
